A family member shows up with 3 additional people AND at the end my H has to pay for the ENTIRE dinner. When it was agreed upon that each would pay for their own guests and whatever my H's parents had would be 50/50.
When I saw that happen all I could think of is, this is not the first time she pulled this on us.
The question I had in my mind is HOW to get her to pay back ??
I cannot imagine what the look on my face was ... by the way I was wearing this:
- Colorful satin dress/top Elizabeth Blair brand
- Black Clutch Mondani
- Black patent peep toe flats
- Black feathery headband + green pin with rhinestones
- Rhinestone bracelets and earrings Charlotte Russe
I thought the sleeves did not help much so I pulled them up with a green cord and voilá !
5 comments
You look stunning, Lorena! Such a great idea with the sleeves on that dress!
Wow, what an awful thing to have happen. Just a suggestion for next time: get up and speak to the waiter away from the table after you order (maybe on the way back from the washroom). Explain that you're paying 1/2 of the bill for your parents (point them out), and for your and your H's own food/drinks. Then ask the waiter to make sure the other 1/2 of your parents' tab is put on the remainder of the bill, which is to go to your H's sister (point her out).
Restaurants are quite happy to accomodate bill-splitting. And having arranged it before the final bill arrives will remove any of the stress, as the waiter presents your share of the bill to you and your H, and the rest to his sister.
She can't complain either, since that's the arrangement you sorted out ahead of time, and you were just helping the waiter get it right! :)
Good luck!
I totally agree with Sheila. That is a very tactful way of handling this in the future.
Thank you girls!
It's a great idea -specially in order to avoid the awkward moment and being taken advantage of.
I will keep it mind.
By the way, for the first time - she paid! HA!
She had pulled this one off before but never paid.
This dress is super adorable...love it! Now on to this sister...Have you guys thought about having an intervention? Seriously, like you and the family sitting down with her and calling her out in a very polite but factual sort of way? If you do this, know that she may not want to talk to anybody for a while...but by allowing her to continue to act this way; you're lives are always going to be caught up around this one person. Know this, the last thing you want to do is to be an enabler...meaning, that by inaction; she feels she is encouraged to behave in the way she does. Interventions are hard because there are always going to be people that will not want to face facts/they will want to pretend it's not that bad...but if you and your hubby feel differently - I would seriously consider it.
Hey Penny, thanks for your very thought off comment.
It is so true.
The issue is a "family thing" I have tried to stay away from in order to avoid any situations.
Both of my H's parents are sick: his dad had a stroke in March 09 and his mom has lung/liver cancer.
So they both need help - help in all ways you can think of, financial, emotional, just being there, you get the picture.
We help $ as much as we can and all Sundays we take them out, we have taken them out every single sunday since the stroke. H speaks to both of them everyday, several times. We sometimes visit n weekdays, but it's not usual.
She does not help at ALL, neither does his older brother. It's like they do not exist.
In her case, she gives her mom a real hard time and instead of helping she does the opposite.
My H's position is that IF his parents don't tell them (his siblings) anything - he will not do it. As he says they are the authority in this relationship.
I always invite her over in order to keep his parents happy but, I think I am done.
I will address her only if I have to and I will no longer invite her to my house.
I think an intervention is a good idea but only if the right person does it.
I just hope that when her parents pass away, she can live with herself.
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