As you can imagine by my look
I rushed out the door this morning,
leaving me no time to dry my hair.
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| Tommy Hilfiger top · brown Rafaella capris · Qupid wedges · Liz Claiborne tote |
I wanted to thank all of you who were kind enough
to stop by and leave a comment on yesterday's rant.
I have given this a lot of thought.
It's family, but it's not correct.
I feel totally used and taken advantage of.
It's like WTF ?!
However I cannot turn this into a family dispute.
Whatever I do, I have to do it gracefully.
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| Silver and mother of pearl pendant from Peru I realized that the reason I am so upset about this whole thing is: the way it has been done, how I have been and continue to be approached. Without any concern, without nothing but intere$t. I have never spoken to the pregnant girl about it. She has never emailed or called. I don't care if she is not close and I don't care if she is family or not, as I have done events for people who are not related to me (and not charged a penny). It's just how everything has evolved. |
So, here is where I need your input once again.
How.do.I.do.it ?
Exit gracefully.
I have thought of several ways of doing it.
.
One is to email her back and tell her that I think
she has done good so far and I see that it's 6 of us hosts
(hosts that include two 14 year old girls WTF?! ) -
and that according to her budget total I have divided it between the 6
of us and that she needs to tell me where I can send her the cash.
Period.
.
Another option is to reply to her email and be extremely polite
and tell her that I will not be able to be part of the event.
I cannot think of any other way.
So, what would you do ?
8 comments
I would be tempted to say that since you were left out of the planning, the event seems well in hand and since you are quite busy you will happily hand it back to the planners.
accesorios amarillos y uñas amarillas!!! linda
I'd go for the latter, just 'exit gracefully'.
So, it sounds like she has not actually ASKED you to do anything with the Excel she sent that you can easily do as you mentioned. Play innocent and just say: "What address should I send my share of the contribution to?" Tell her it looks like she has the planning well in hand and wish her luck. I'd leave it at that. Since you never agreed to do any organizing I don't think you even need to mention that you won't do it, let along apologize for not doing it.
As I said in the other post, I would mail her a card with a cheque (whatever you care to donate) and say, "Have a nice shower!" and leave it at that.
She's inconsiderate and rude, and has to learn that she has to approach something like this with some manners!
Since all of the events transpired over emails and facebook messages, I think you've got an easy out. It's not like you agreed to do anything face to face or even on the phone. Just tell them you are out.
Chic on the Cheap
I would handle it very directly. I would not send her the cash. I'd call her (there's a point where the conversation needs to become 1:1- over the phone, or in person, as opposed to writing, where there are too many holes/misconceptions/passivity). I'd say (remembering that she is extremely young and not in the same state that you are in regards to maturity, business savvy, professionalism, etc)...
I understand that you were a little uncomfortable asking me to help. We don't know each other very well and I can see why you'd be nervous.
I do have a lot of experience, but I also have a 'full plate' at the moment. Before I can agree/commit to helping, I need to know what it is that you need help with. In other words, how would you like me to contribute?
At that point, it is up to you to decide whether or not you want to help. Either way, I'd tell her directly, and then end the conversation with something to the effect of...
In the future, please give me a call directly, so there is no confusion as to whether I am being asked to help or not, and what you specifically need. (ended in a professional, firm, but friendly, not passive or condescending note)
I think it's important to be treated respectfully, but I also think it's important to realize that others have zero communication skills and unless you communicate very directly, and clearly with them, you remain 1) offended and 2) in the weird state of unknowingness...
I hope this helps.
I love the top and your yellow nails are fab!
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